Adventures of the Newly Unemployed

It's 1:46AM on a Thursday morning.  Normally I would be sleeping, but tonight I'm two glasses into a bottle of red wine and wide awake as I was informed their wasn't enough work to keep me on and my last day will be Friday.  


Why didn't I cry?  I didn't cry.  I've spent the past five years working at a company I actually liked, doing work I actually was fulfilled and happy to do and in one 20 minute conference call, POOF, BANG, SURPRISE, your career here will no longer be.  My mind whisked me away to some happy place after hearing, "we're sorry to inform you..." when I snapped back into place, I wasn't crying nor was I having a panic attack or impending sense of doom.  All I could think was, I guess it's time for a change.


I walked out of our 'I'm so sorry meeting' strangely lost, numb, and still not crying.  Rustled around my desk pretending to be looking for something when in reality I was looking for my mind.  It was like I had stepped into some alternate universe without GPS.  I fielded a few phone calls, took care of some administrative tasks and began to pack up or trash the trinkets, items, and collections one ends up with after five years of employment leaving me with two large plastic bags of 'stuff' I didn't have the heart to throw away, nor do I have a place for at home.  My mind is telling me I can decorate my new desk with them whenever and wherever that may be.  I floated home to a husband looking at me cautiously for signs of a meltdown but no, no tears, no tirades, just calm and the urge for a nice glass of red wine.


So here I am.  About to be one of  'those people' the unemployed I hear so much about on the nightly news.  Starting 2012 in a situation I haven't been in for many, many, many years.  It feels like I got a divorce and now have to re-enter the dating pool.  Am I young enough?  Are my skills still needed?  Have I kept up with the latest technological advancements?  Can I still type 90+ WPM?  Should I lose weight?  

Fuggedaboudit.


I'll go to work tomorrow and savor the free coffee and super expensive ergo chair, I'm sure someone will 'borrow' it for good the second I'm gone.  And that makes me laugh.  For now, no tears.  The countdown to unemployment begins.