Never Stop Growing - A Lesson Remembered

My Father once asked me to think of a tree, and tell him what a tree and a human being had in common. I said, we're both alive, and he replied yes, what else? I struggled with an answer. He then said, we both grow. I, not quite understanding remained quiet and waited for him to explain. He said, a tree grows from a tiny seed into a strong tree, all the while enduring it's surroundings through good and bad, even if slowly continues to grow. He then asked, what happens when a tree stops growing? I replied, it dies. He said, exactly and got straight to the point. People can learn a valuable lesson from trees, we start as babies, and grow to adults, all the while, learning and just like the trees we must weather the storms and continue to grow and learn, some seasons blooming, others we may be dormant but we continue to grow. The day we stop learning, the day we stop growing, we die. He didn't need to say anymore. I never forgot that lesson.

When I feel like the world is trying it's hardest to take me down, I remember that I like the tree, must continue to grow, regardless, and to look for the lesson in whatever situation has caused my distress. Big things, little things, happy or sad, it doesn't matter, they are all valuable opportunities to learn. Sometimes I don't understand what I should be taking from a situation or experience, but at all times I'm thankful to be having the experience and the opportunity, even if it isn't obvious, having the opportunity to live and learn is a gift we should never take for granted

I am spreading my branches, growing strong and wise, safely under the guidance and branches within the forest of my family.

Thanks Dad.

I M Patient

I had planned to write about the virtue of patience in life and the joys that come with age and the ability to give your life to a higher power to guide you when your power fails. Why?

Because time and time again I attempted to live this life with the false belief that I was in control. Then snapped back to reality when the breath we all take for granted necessary for existence was gone, and every labored painful inhale a realization that I am only here because of Gods will. For those with alternate belief systems, we'll use higher power. Your higher power could be a tree or whatever or whomever you choose to place your faith.

Human nature is to believe we run things, many of us live in ignorant bliss, never stopping to give thanks or search for the good, even in the 'bad.' Every day I can wake up is a great day. I'm not going to sit here and lie stating I'm a perpetually happy individual. I have my moments, but when life seems to be getting the best of me, or things don't go the way I planned them I have the comfort of letting go and letting God. That doesn't mean kick my heels up and do nothing. If you jump off of a bridge and expect God to save you, you're going to have a surprise. God would never guide your steps off of that bridge, that was you just falling prey to your mortal tendencies.

Do the work, have faith, and whatever it is you desire, you will achieve unless what you wish is not the proper path. When you find yourself up against a wall and spinning your wheels and no matter how hard you try, feel like you're getting nowhere. That's the time you need to stop, breathe, say thank you and offer your steps, your path, your life to your higher power and believe. Things will change and usually not in the way YOU planned it to, but God will steer you down the correct path to whatever door he has opened. PERIOD.

How Soul Train Ruined my Concept of TV

As most of you know or have figured out my Father is a professional musician. For the longest time I thought ALL Dad's went to work for month's at a time and wore incredibly tight pants all the time. I thought everyone went to a studio and the whole world had rehearsal. With that said and done I grew up in what to me was normal, but the rest of the world would consider an alternative environment.

I know I must have been VERY young when this occurred but can't pinpoint what age. IF Dad had to go on the road or even out he'd ALWAYS say goodbye and give me a hug. One morning Mom walked in and woke me up saying, hurry up, get up, come to the bedroom, your Dad's on TV and I immediately threw a temper tantrum and cried when she looked at me crazy and asked why was I crying I said, "DADDY DIDN'T TELL ME GOODBYE!!!!"

What's funny about this story. Until this point my concept of technology was that people ON TV were somehow beamed into the TV, the concept of recording people DID NOT EXIST. So my child mind assumed that if Dad was ON TV, he had to have left, and heaven forbid he did so without saying goodbye.

Mom calmed me down and said your Dad's here, but hurry up and come to the bedroom and wandered out the door. I sat there stunned, completely unable to understand Dad could be home AND on TV, I thought he was some magicman or superhero because he could be TWO places at once. Then I thought, Mom's lying, he CAN'T be here AND on TV. So I raced into the bedroom about to pitch a fit and sure enough. He was there. We piled onto the bed (oh, now this is hilarious, lemme give you a quick rundown of the surroundings, orange and yellow SUPER LONG shag carpet, you'd lose whole Lego villages in that stuff and forget about getting any type of toy with wheels to work anywhere with carpet. One wall completely covered with mirror squares, you know, with the GOLD FLECKS, and the bedroom...THIS HUGE WOOD MONSTROSITY WATER BED, I know I was small enough at the time that I had to make quite a jump to get up there, and Dad's pride and Joy, the ZENITH COLOR TV, HUGE BOX, tiny screen, but it was COLOR with BUTTONS, not KNOBS!!!) and on came Soul Train. I HATED Soul Train, why? Because whenever it came on I was kicked outside to play and had to stop watching cartoons. But i survived the intros and sure enough there before my eyes was my superhero Dad on TV, but sitting right next to me. Wow.

The End

Have no idea why I remembered that, or chose to write it. Maybe I didn't want to forget. TV has never been the same since. I do know that after that for a LONG time I thought my Dad was the ONLY ONE who could be TWO places AT ONCE!!! Now that I think of it, he still is. Physically away but ALWAYS in my heart and head.


Soul Train Shirt

Mr. Kinda Right vs. Mr. Right on Time

I don't have to write this, but I have to write this as I feel it's important to share my little bit of learning with others. My 2 best friends and I had a 'bet' in high school. Who would get married first, who would have kids first, etc. I was deemed the one who would never marry and certainly have no children. 16 years later I surprised all and finally married. They used to call me the runaway bride. I was quick to bolt from relationships for a number of reasons. The number one factor in my decision to call it quits was always an overwhelming sense that I could do better and an unwillingness to 'settle'. I am in no way implying the relationships I had prior to meeting my husband were with 'bad' or faulty people. Only not the right person for me.

I had maintained short and long term relationships with the kinda a right but not quite right people and made the best out of them but in hindsight realize i had it all wrong. What I have come to realize is the reason I had spent so much time with kind of rights is because I was not in tune with myself and my spirit enough to even know what I needed. I was blessed to have a friend and mentor intervene and introduce me to my future husband. Who, truth be told had I not of been introduced to through a trusted friend I would of avoided like the plague. OMG! Not a creative....not the music industry... Not one of THEM! We would talk for hours and after every conversation I'd get off the phone thinking wow. He 'gets' me. But was still so self brainwashed refused to put 2 and 2 together even while this man was doing EVERYTHING I had always wished my partner would do. He cared when he had no reason to, was responsible, committed, had a strong faith, and most of all. Appreciated me for me, not who he or I thought I should or could be.

I'm rambling. Let me get to the point. I've got quite a few people out there 'looking' for Mr. Right and then all bent out of shape when they turn to Mr. wrong. My little advice is that

you don't have to LOOK for Mr. Right. Instead look to make yourself right and Mr. Right will find you.

I think we all may carry a warped sense of self which can cause chaos in relationships. Folks have noted how well my husband and I 'fit'. I believe it is because we appreciated each other as is. I love him as him and vice versa. Not, well if we stay together long enough maybe he'll change or, I can change him. AS IS! If you have to ask, "is he/she the one?" they are probably not. The difference between kinda right and just right is so obvious. You will laugh at yourself for entertaining all the not quites prior to. Love yourself and love will come to you. Also, don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone.

The right one may be packaged differently than what you think is right. Don't be afraid to ask God for guidance. Have faith your God will not thrust you into chaos. If you are so busy looking, you may miss who and what God has put in place for you. Stop 'looking' for him. Look at you, love you and when your right one arrives, you will have so much more to share. Not some beat down tractor trailer full of baggage toting train wreck. A receptive, refreshed and refreshing woman. You don't want someone to complete you. You need to be whole first. You need someone to complement you an the 2 of you are that much stronger. TOGETHER. And those at my thoughts for the evening. I am thankful for the blessing I have received in my husband. I couldn't of dreamt a better life.

For those looking. Have faith. God will give you what you need when you are ready to receive it. In the meantime. Love the one you're with (you).